Breaking the Chains of Loneliness, part II: First Love

“I love those who love Me, and those who seek me diligently find me.” Proverbs 8:17 English Standard version

Do you remember your First Love? Probably have warm feelings recalling that special someone whenever they come to mind. We all have fond memories of someone even if the person was totally unaware of our affection. Do you realize God wants to be your First Love? It was part of His His divine blueprint.

In the garden of Eden, God created man and woman to know Himself. He created Adam FIRST and then He created Eve. The Bible says He brought her to Adam which means she also knew God FIRST before she met Adam. We don’t know the time frames for when Adam and Eve met but they both knew God, their Creator first.

Adam + Eve

God understands human loneliness. He created Eve because He knew it was not good for Adam to be alone forever. (See Genesis 2:18) So at some point God brought them together after they both knew Him. This remains God’s perfect design. For each man, for each woman to know Him FIRST before they come together as a couple.

If we are lonely as Christians, I believe we should start with pursuing God. Knowing Him intimately first before we try to involve ourselves in deep human relationships will widen the foundation for success from which we build any relationship but especially marriage.  This is true no matter our age. If we plunge ahead driven by loneliness to any source other than God, there will be needless pain involved.

Needless pain resulting from reckless and irresponsible behaviors. Drinking, which can lead to alcoholism, illicit relationships, job loss, DUI arrest and more…Loveless sexual relationships, leaving a person empty, unfulfilled and endlessly searching for more,  not to mention possible unwanted pregnancy, disease or abuse. Compromising convictions and being unequally yoked. What does being “unequally yoked” mean? Involving yourself in a relationship or even marrying someone who is not a believer. There is a long list of negative consequences for the believer who does this, too long to list here. The Bible warns of this in II Corinthians 6:14. All I will say in this writing is, I’ve walked that path and trust me, it does not work! God is not a killjoy…He simply wants to spare you from all this heartache. None of the aforementioned activities are a cure for your loneliness.

In building this foundational relationship with God first through Jesus His Son and His Holy Spirit, you will have your priorities in the proper order. ( Matthew 6:33) Then you can grow as a person and become whole in Him. At the right time, which only He knows, He will bring a partner to you just as He did for Adam, whether it’s a friend or a marriage partner. This process takes time and it’s different for each of us. Remember, healthy people attract healthy people.

God will not be selfish with you. He will not withhold any good thing from you. (Psalm 84:11) He loves you beyond imagination, but He does want what is best for you and so you MUST JUST TRUST Him and His timing.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 New International version

Learn to enjoy your time with Him, your First Love, so all who come into your life will experience the best of you because of who you have become in Him and the time spent with Him. “Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 New International version

As I said earlier, many of us have learned the hard way that attempting to defeat loneliness on our own by chasing human relationships first, ended in pain and heartache. But no matter where we are in life, we can begin the process to date our magnificent God! Stay tuned for part III where I will share some ideas that helped me.

For now increase your faith by reading the story of Ruth and Naomi in the book of Ruth. Ruth chose to learn of God through her mentor, Naomi and in time, the Lord provided a faithful partner for Ruth. A beautiful example of the principle of First Love at work.

Shine on. . .
karan k

“But grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.” II Peter 3:18 English Standard version

5 thoughts on “Breaking the Chains of Loneliness, part II: First Love”

  1. I used to suffer from codependency. I NEEDED a man to make me complete. Only now – 29 years later – is God my main focus and the love of my life. Because I’ve been single for so long I’ve become very independent. I even struggle with being independent towards God. I have only now begun to find myself in Christ and any man I come across, well, God has high standards , therefore so do I, because past relationships have ended up in sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I am doing the best I can to wait upon the Lord, but I feel my biological clock is calling – so there’s often spiritual warfare in that area. Thanks for all your insights, they helped me gain insights to myself! GOD BLESS!

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