Category Archives: Daily Grind

Do You Need A Reminder?

Lovely Reminder

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?” Romans 8:25 New Living Translation

The other Sunday I found myself struggling through my work day. On the PA Turnpike the toll collectors work 3 out of 4 weekends every month. Weekends are the busy traffic times so everybody works. Somehow after 29 years I have not managed to accept working weekends. I still dislike it. It feels like the rest of the world is out to play and we toll collectors are helping them on their way. Wah. Wah. Wah. Realistically, I know every job has a few negatives and I must accept it.

Besides the work related wound licking, I’ve been fighting for weeks on a personal level with strung out emotions. I function everyday but my FLURISHING feelings are just not able to push through to the surface. I know they are there because nothing has changed in my life. I remain a child of the Most High and nothing negative has touched my life. I should be enjoying all the goodness He gives.

But instead, I seem to be tired all the time and lack desire and motivation. I cannot get a handle on it. I must push myself to do everything: push to get out of bed; push to pack my lunch for work; push to go to work; push to go to gym or workout at home; push to cook supper; push to write or read anything. The only easy thing lately is going to bed.

yawn. . .

 

Some may accept this as their Modus Operandi but I do not want to live like this under a constant cloud of depression. I detest it. I want to be free to FLURISH again so I keep praying, trusting, believing that this dark cloud will lift by the grace of God. I know He’s been faithful in the past and I’m sure He has a lesson for me to learn while I slog through this difficult season.

So I continue collecting on the job this busy Sunday afternoon and a man in his forties pulls up and asks if I need something to brighten my day. Not wanting to sound as pathetic as I feel, I shrug my shoulders and smile. He reaches over and hands me a dozen beautiful red roses.

He saw hesitation on my face and explained that he had a blind date in the city. He bought flowers for her but she never showed up. He was disappointed but thought someone should get some joy out of the flowers.

I received the roses as a caring reminder from Jesus, through the hand of a stranger,  that He loves me even when I feel weak and struggling. I took them home and my husband set them up in a vase where I can see and enjoy them daily.

Are you weak and struggling too? Be encouraged, His love for you remains! Look around for His reminders.

“No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39 New Living Translation

Shine on. . .
karan k

Blown Away

 

“So what makes us think we can escape if we ignore this great salvation that was first announced by the Lord Jesus Himself and then delivered to us by those who heard Him speak?” Hebrews 2:3 New Living Translation

Yesterday I decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood. The wind was brutal but the sun was shining. It felt good to feel the warmth of the sun and be pushed about by the strength of the wind. As I walked around the block, I noticed everyone’s bagged newspapers were blown out of their driveways. Ours was completely MIA. Some people feel these free newspapers are a nuisance and create more trash. They don’t even bother to pick them up to dispose of them properly. I like receiving mine every week and was disappointed that it had flown the coop.

I continued walking around the block three times, four times, five times etc., until about the ninth time I noticed a patch of common ground between the homes that had four newspapers strewn across it. I continued walking and the tenth time I noticed a fifth paper laying in the street near the four others in the common ground. I decided to pick it up since it could have been ours and didn’t belong in the street.

As I carried my treasure back to our house I thought to myself, these papers must have been stuck in this common ground area during my entire walk. Why had it taken me nine passes before I even noticed them?

Likewise, ever find yourself driving somewhere and after you arrive you have no recollection of the drive? You’re lost in thought, distracted, preoccupied with something seemingly more important than your surroundings. In this condition we miss things that are right in front of us. It’s a common occurrence but a dangerous one.

It’s also dangerous in the spiritual realm. Like those local freebie newspapers, the Good News of the Gospel is free to everyone but many in our society are not interested in the “free news”. They think our culture is already cluttered with too much Jesus news. They want to discard it as worthless just like the newspapers blown around my neighborhood.

It can be easy to slip into that same mindset swirling all around us. Pulled into thinking that suggests the Free Good News is too restrictive, false or no longer needed in this world geared toward humanistic belief systems and lifestyles. We may think we’d never ever consider discarding the precious Word, but do we neglect it and let it lay on the sidewalks of our mind behind all the pressing business of our day?

We must guard the living message of the Gospel of Christ to be effective for the Kingdom. It is the true power behind all that we do as believers. We must keep it close, pure and fresh in our hearts so we may encourage each other as times grow rough. So we may hand the Good News out freely whenever opportunity arises and hope is needed.

“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You.” Psalm 51:12 New Living Translation

Don’t let the winds of life blow away your time in the Word but rather be blown away by the Good News of the Word.

 

“For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it.” Hebrews 2:1 New American Standard Bible

Shine on. . .
karan k

Read Hebrews chapter 4, just 16 verses of insight

 

Sweet Read

Praising God for the ability to read ūüôā

So I just finished another 12 hour shift that I honestly did not want to work but we’re short of help right now. I didn’t have a choice. When this happens I always ask ¬†God for grace. I need it for my body to hold up and so I don’t get cranky with my customers and/or make costly mistakes. I recognize I can’t get through this on my own in a positive way. (John 15:5) ¬†He answered my request and added a sweet something I didn’t expect.

The hours were going by saturated in grace as I refused to allow non-work as well as work related problems to agitate me. But oh how they tried.

One of them included a giant jackhammer that pounded through the concrete next to my booth all day. Reminded me of the scene in LOTR’s ” The Return of the King” where Frodo is battling the giant spider and SHE keeps trying to sting him but with added sound effects like a magnified dentist’s drill. Makes me shudder thinking about it.

Frodo battles Shelob

Anyway, later in the day ¬†while the jack hammering continued, I began reading a book between customers. It just drew me in and I could not stop reading. ¬†It wasn’t ¬†necessarily an adventure story, although it was someone’s adventure. It wasn’t a steamy romance, sci-fi fantasy or crime novel. It was a self help memoir of all things. ¬†Who ¬†knew? The book was given to my husband by a friend. While he was finishing a current book I snagged it and finished it in record time. For me it was quite enlightening and gave my whole day a huge lift. It was a sweet read.

The power of a good read no matter the genre should not be underestimated. Have you experienced any sweet reads lately?

Reading can enhance your ability to FLURISH. It did for me today even under adverse conditions. If you haven’t read any good books for awhile, put it on your ASAP TO DO LIST. You won’t be sorry.

Shine on. . .
karan k

 

Back in Action

“Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.” Psalm 55:2 New Living Translation

“Back in Action!” one of my coworkers announced. His computer crashed without warning. His lane had to be closed an hour for repair. He had to shut everything down until attention could be given to specific issues and adjustments could be made to restore proper functioning.

Ever experience something appearing out of nowhere that totally shuts you down? Could be a physical illness or accident, an emotional crisis or loss, hard financial news etc.? How do you react? Do you take it in stride? Do you get angry? Do you worry? Do you fall apart?

No one likes to lose their collectedness in public. It’s embarrassing, but these situations are no fun in private either. Sometimes the hurt and pain is so intense, so personal that it is hard to open up about it to another person. Someone else may not understand and then trivialize your feelings. That’s a total bummer.

The enemy of our souls wants nothing better than to take us out of action. His desire is to render us wounded and unable to carry on our Kingdom work. (John 10:10) But there is a repairman available 24/7.

Repairs Needed

One of my closest friends likes the hymn “There’s Not a Friend Like the Lowly Jesus”. I suspect she found the song comforting when life was painful time after time and there were no friends available. I’ve thought about the words many times since she brought it to my attention. It’s a solid reminder that I am never alone and neither are you. Here are just a few of the stanzas:

There’s Not a Friend Like the Lowly Jesus
Johnson Oatman

“There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus:
No, not one! No, not one!
None else could heal all our souls’ diseases:
No, not one! No, not one!

Jesus knows all about our struggles;
He will guide ’til the day is done:
There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus:
No, not one! No, not one!

There’s not an hour that He is not near us,
No! Not one! No! Not one!
No night so dark, but His love can cheer us,
No! Not one! No, Not one!

Jesus will always help us with whatever comes our way. ¬†He’s the ultimate Repairman! Call on Him and let Him help you so you can be “Back in Action” in as little time as possible.

Shine on. . .
karan k

 

 

 

Supernatural Snow Day

“Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the soul of his masters.” Proverbs 25:13 English Standard version

yeeha!

 

If you happen to live in cooler climates, you might be well acquainted with the term “snow day”. Those of us who grew up in the Northeastern area of the US probably remember listening anxiously to the radio or tv as kids early in the morning waiting for the announcement of school cancellations due to weather conditions.

Now our own kids or grandkids look forward to “snow days” just as we did—A free day with no school. Of course in the scheme of things, a snow day was followed later by a “make up” day to replace the required school hours that were lost during the “snow day”. But kids don’t care about such future details.

The good news for us as adults is we don’t have to wait for a snowstorm to grant us a “free snow day”. We ¬†can schedule our own every now and then. We can take some time to just BREATHE. We can put all the responsibilities on hold for a day. It will recharge our minds, bodies and souls.

We also are not forced into a “make up” day. We just trust and expect our Heavenly Father to help us with anything that piled up during our day with Him. I have found Him to be faithful each and every time I do this to help me catch up on whatever work I have. It’s a supernatural thing!

Relaxing with JESUS

The trick is to actually TAKE a “free day”. To entrust your myriad of responsibilities to the Lord who loves you for one 24 hour period and not fret over them. HE actually expects us to do this once a week not once in a blue moon. HE gave us the Sabbath to refresh us to better serve and worship Him. HE knows we need it it whether we realize it or not. ¬†(Luke 4:16 for any desiring New Testament proof—Jesus is our ultimate example) We need to incorporate this into our weekly lives no matter what our work schedules dictate.

I have worked weekends for 29 years now and it has been a challenge to take my “snow days” or Sabbath days. Sometimes corporate worship with other believers cannot take place the same day as my “snow day” time with Him due to my work schedule, but that’s ok. ¬†He sees my heart and knows my desire is to be with Him so I proactively plan to do it as regularly as I can. This will be different for each of us.

Let HIM melt your heart of stone

For many years I didn’t carve out a 24 hour Sabbath for myself and burn out would overtake me.¬†When I was young it took longer to burn out but now I grow tired faster which is actually a blessing since it forces me to physically rest. ¬† Illness sometimes created forced “snow days”. But now I want to be proactive and obedient to HIS command. I don’t always do too well but I keep trying because I know HIS ways are higher than mine so I trust HIM rather than what I think or my schedule dictates.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 English Standard Version

Our world is so busy and everything seems important. The more complicated our world becomes the more we NEED weekly undivided time set apart with Jesus in addition to daily communication with Him.  We need to rest, to refresh and to refuel to FLURISH!

February 2018

 

Today I’m taking a “snow day” supernaturally as well as physically!! When was your last “snow day”?

Shine on. . .
karan k

 

Sent from my iPad

 

North Shore Adventure Part II: The Time of My Life

After our lovely bike ride and photography session along the Banzai Pipeline I picked the next adventure. The shuttle skirted around the bay just a short mile and dropped us off in Waimea Valley. We walked into an amazingly lush 1,800 acre botanical sanctuary for rare birds and over 5,000 species of plants endemic to Hawaii.

I believe this was the most beautiful display of greenery I’ve seen in my life. Every angle was a fabulous photo op. So of course my photographer husband dove into photo taking frenzy mode. But unbeknownst to him, I had a goal which needed immediate attention to reach.

 

I wanted to hike to a waterfall at the edge of the garden. I dreamed of a romantic lunch in a scenic spot and swimming in a fresh pool with a waterfall. Now my dear husband knew I wanted to go to the waterfall but he had no idea that I had romanticized about it in my mind. So he meandered along the trail snapping photos of everything while I grew impatient and finally we broke into a spat. I told him I was headed to the waterfall and stomped away in a huff.

During my twenty minute hike at a fast clip, I muttered and complained to God out loud since no one else was around.

“Why doesn’t he understand how important this is to me? I went with him to his photo tours.”

In a still small voice I heard the Father speak in a gentle tone to my heart.

“Remember, Dwight has never been to Hawaii before. He’s overwhelmed by the beauty I created. Let him enjoy it his way. You come with Me. You were worried about having special alone time with Me, so this is your chance. This will be our adventure together at the waterfall.”

Peacock hiding in shrubbery

That was all I needed to hear. Immediately my heart shed the frustration toward Dwight and overflowed with excitement knowing I had heard from my heavenly Father and He wanted to go on this adventure with me. My pace quickened and I reached the waterfall in no time. My heart pumping with joy, the young attendant took notice and said;

“Nice to see someone so eager to get in the water. You know it’s really cold in there since this is our winter season.”

“I don’t care, I just hiked up here so I could swim in the waterfall pool. I’m hot and need to cool off,” I replied.

 

I crawled down over the slippery rocks  abandoning any fear and dove into the 30 foot deep pool. The exhilaration was indescribable. I could feel the presence of my Lord with me as I bobbed around in the fresh cold water.  I struggled to swim toward the waterfall even though I approached from the side rather than head on because of the tremendous pressure.

 

At one point my energy waned and discouragement made an attempt to overcome me. But the voice of my Lord spoke into my heart again saying, “Relax, I AM here and you have a life jacket on, just enjoy floating with Me awhile.” I followed His instruction and quit fighting the pull and allowed my body to glide across the invigorating waters. To say I had the time of my life is a gross understatement. When do you get to swim in a waterfall . . . with GOD??

In time He helped me get over to the side and find a ledge next to the waterfall where I got my photo taken by my sweet husband who made his way to the waterfall afterall. This remains the highlight for me of a very eventful trip.

 

 

How do you experience Jesus in every day life? How does He communicate with you? Each of us has the opportunity to be intimate and close to Him the more we focus on His reality and spend time in His word. He forms a deep bond in your soul if you let Him and each of us can have a totally individualized custom-made relationship with Him IF we choose it. Even on vacation!

Shine on. . .

karan k

 

Eulogy for My Mother: Celebrating Romayne Part II

 

After I spoke what you read ¬†at my Mother’s funeral service in Part I, my dear husband spoke. As I held the mike for him my eyes scanned ahead on his notes, which he barely used. Love and pride swelled in my mind and heart for this man and his caring words which so totally captured the essence of my Mother. The following is a written copy of what he said at her Celebration service.

“My memories of Romayne I’ll share focus mainly on her ‘words of wisdom’ that would sometimes suddenly appear out of nowhere. I like to call them ‘ROMAYNEISMS’.

Those of you who knew her and spent any amount of time with her know that she was rarely at a loss for words. Maybe not a lot of words at times but those snippets of profound truth impactful all the same. . . and impactful for different reasons.

There are three expressions or truths I heard from her often over the last few years. The first being, ‘That’s the way the mop flops’. On the surface this may sound a little superficial maybe even somewhat cavalier. I think though it speaks to Romayne’s acceptance of whatever life threw at her. As Karan just said, Romayne’s life wasn’t always easy or happy, but inspite of difficulty you have to keep moving on, keep living life. That is what I saw her do.

She became a mother at 17, then raised four children, lost two husbands, and a son. She also struggled with multiple health issues throughout the years and did it with little or no grumbling or complaining. In fact, I’m told she did not like complaining or hearing complaints. She accepted life as it came and persevered, because ‘THAT’S THE WAY THE MOP FLOPS’.

Romayne Christmas 2017

Another truth I heard from her and Karan often told me Romayne expressed was ‘They’ll get good again’. This can go hand in hand with the previous quote, but I think more so she meant it as she was going to live life on her terms. She was her own person. Again those of you who knew her would have to agree, if how she decided to live bothered some folks well. . . ‘they’ll get good again’. She was not going to allow others to affect the way she chose to live. She had her life to live and her decisions to make, as we all do, and if others are upset by that, well. . . ‘THEY’LL GET GOOD AGAIN.’

The final Romayneism is not so much a truth as just a comment she made regularly in the last few years as her physical body was failing her more and more. Simple things like sitting down or standing up and walking became increasingly difficult for her— not to mention trying to get her in and out of a car to take her places. Every movement was a painful battle.

She would often cry out ‘Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!’ Sometimes I secretly thought depending on where we were, I hoped that people around us wouldn’t think she was swearing! Those of us that know her, know that could not be farther from the truth. Romayne simply knew where her strength to go on came from.

I would like to imagine for a moment a different circumstance:

Imagine with me, if you will, what Romayne was doing this past Monday at 11:46pm. . .
There she is. . . she can see Jesus. Maybe from a distance at first. As she moves closer to Him she begins to sense the awesome glory of where she is.

She’s moving toward Jesus and her steps become hesitant because she is so overwhelmed by the presence of our Savior. Jesus sees her hesitation as He is now standing before her.

He has the biggest, widest smile on His face and with His arms outstretched He says, ‘C’mon, come here my beautiful daughter. What took you so long? . . . I was waiting for you! Don’t be scared. Come here! Walk to Me! I gave you those new feet and those new legs, and knees and hips so you could come to Me!’

She looks down at herself and realizes she’s been given a new and perfect body, without defect. She looks up at Jesus’ smiling face and runs to His arms and one more time she cries out, ‘OH JESUS’!!”

 

I hope your heart is blessed by this even if you didn’t know my Mom. For someday Jesus will welcome each of us who knew Him!!

Shine on. . .
karan k

Red Light Isolation

 

STOP!

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 New Living Translation

Do you like movies? If so, what are some of your favorites?

Spencer Tracy in Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde 1941

I love movies, all types. Most genres except Horror and Westerns. But even some of those I enjoy. For example, some of the old Horror films that have become cult classics like 1931’s version of Frankenstein, or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with Spencer Tracy in the dual role. The Mummy from 1959, and for Westerns I like McClintock and The Magnificent Seven with an all-star cast (Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, Eli Wallach, James Coburn and Horst Buchholz) from 1960.

 

The Magnificent Seven 1960

Some of those older movies have such great scripts and since I aspire to one day write a successful screenplay, I take notice of the dialogue used. For example, I like this line from an old Cops and Robbers movie in 1949 called Red Light:

“You know Johnny, when you play Solitaire, you only beat yourself.”

Solitary pain

 

The line made me think of how many of us play Solitaire with our lives. We don’t let anyone close enough to know who we really are. We don’t allow anyone to help us when struggles and hardships enter our game. We insist on suffering in silence. But where does that get us?

Our loving Father designed us for relationships and community not for isolation and living as a one person team. Instead of Solitaire we need to play life INTERDEPENDENT on others not independent of others. Consider a team mindset like in  team-handball, soccer, football or baseball. A small close knit group that plays as a team to win. Each depends on the other to help the team move forward to victory.

Team Handball

So as the New year approaches ask yourself, am I playing Solitaire or a team sport? Do I need to stop isolation? Give it the red light and become a team player? None of us knows what we will face good or bad in the coming year but we truly need each other to FLURISH!

Let’s help each other

“This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” I Corinthians 12:25 & 26 New Living Translation

Group hug

Shine on. . .
karan

Christmas Spirit

 

 

I loved this particular tree

As I said in the first Christmas post, I was unsure how Christmas is received here on the Hawaiian islands.  But as our trip progressed I saw Christmas decor splashed everywhere, especially unusual Christmas trees.

The very first one we saw as we deplaned in Honolulu and made our way to baggage claim seemed terribly Hawaiian but not too pretty. After that we began seeing trees and lights everywhere decorated in multitudes of ways. What I have here is just a sampling of course but the feel of Christmas surrounded us.

Being without a car, we traveled by shuttle, bus, van and uber. Each time we met beautiful, friendly people, sometimes Hawaiian, sometimes not. Most were playing subdued Christmas songs quite Christian in nature.

So I asked our Samoan shuttle driver if he was a believer. . . ¬†His grin said yes before he uttered a sound. He asked how Could I tell? I said “There was just a loving joyful spirit about you and the music was a big clue since it wasn’t typical Christmas music about Santa.” He told me he plays this music on purpose to glorify the Savior. ¬†We wished him blessings and said we’d see him again in glory someday to which he flashed a bigger smile.

 

Bonzai Pipeline, North Shore Oahu

The next day, DK (my husband) and I took a van tour to the North shore of Oahu where the big surfing competitions are this time of year. Our driver was an older Hawaiian  man named Ace. He drove us to the Bonzai pipeline where DK got some amazing surfing shots. We rode bike along the shore area and saw incredible homes owned by famous surfers and wealthy residents. We shopped in lazy little towns and hiked in the magnificent Waimea Valley sanctuary.

While we were off enjoying these extraordinary excursions, Ace was parked in a peaceful spot eating rice and fresh Ahi tuna. He enjoyed feeding the feral chickens and relaxed until our pick up time.

Ace added two additional stops for us to see Giant Sea Turtles in a secluded cove and then a stop to the Dole plantation free of charge. (The Dole whip is awesome by the way.) His jolly generosity made the day a delightful highlight.

Ace was willing to drop us off separately at two different locations not on his route so we could make connections. Sure he may have wanted a better tip but so does every other driver. His kind attitude made it a pleasure to tip him well. So we ended up being the last people on his van. He unabashedly began telling us  about his church and what turned his life around.

While visiting a church some years back, the Pastor said “What your kids hear you say, they will replay”. Ace went home and couldn’t,t stop thinking about that phrase. WHAT YOUR KIDS HEAR YOU SAY THEY WILL REPLAY. He knew his words could be harsh and course so ¬†he went back to the church the next week and asked Jesus to change him. He said “he’s never been the same.”

Our hearts were full as we exited his van and said “MaHalo” (thank you) and blessings. I could hear Hawaiian ladies nearby in a retail store singing as they worked: ¬†they sang “This is the Day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” My heart was overflowing at this point because not only is Christmas alive and well in Hawaii by decor and music but so is the Lord of Christmas through HIS rejoicing people! Let us all rejoice and be glad in Him this Christmas season wherever we are!

Mele Kalikimaka
Merry Christmas in Hawaiian

 

Shine on. . .

karan k

Good Wife/Bad Wife? Part II

Clinton Kelly and Stacy London  look on the Cathedral Hoodie.

“Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.” Marcus Aurelius

Multiple Myeloma Bone Marrow 2

“. . . but a disgraceful woman is like a cancer in his [her husbands] bones.” Proverbs 12:4b New Living Translation

In the last post we saw that we wives can be a crown for our husbands. That was from the positive first half of this proverb. Now we get to the ugly second part. I definitely do not want to choose this option! Bone cancer is the negative side of what a wife is capable of causing in the life of her husband.

A few years ago I loved watching a show called “What Not To Wear”. This show was very different than “The Good Wife” discussed in Part I. It was not a fictitious drama but a sad altho interesting reality show on how some people choose to dress. Friends or relatives nominated someone for the show who they considered to dress in poor taste. The two hosts would surprise this individual and offer to take them shopping for $5000 worth of new clothes if they agreed to trash their entire current wardrobe. That was the general gist of the show. I loved watching each episode because I learned to avoid my own fashion faux pas by watching the mistakes of the featured guest.

In the same way we can identify and avoid our own “Bad Wife” behavior from watching others and learning What Not to Do. There are the obvious bad behaviors of wives who flirt openly or have sex and cheat on their husbands in private. That is aggressive multiple myeloma in the bones for sure! It can quickly destroy a man.

But what about the not so obvious behaviors? Ever witness a wife berating her husband in public? Makes me shudder. It’s painful to see and so humiliating for the husband. What does she do in private, I wonder? Or have you ever heard a friend complain about her husband to a group of her girlfriends over lunch? And then there’s ¬†rolling the eyes or shooting looks of contempt toward your husband which can be deadly. These too are cancer causing behaviors altho less aggressive, the end result is ¬†the same. They destroy your husbands spirit and should be avoided at all costs.

Crown or Cancer? Those are the choices. Which will you choose?

To attempt to remain indifferent is compromise with mediocrity. There is no riding the fence here. Mediocrity is choosing the “Bad Wife” business as usual mindset.

Loving your spouse is one of the ways we love the Lord and you know how He feels about indifference. . . check out Revelation 3:15 Barnes’ commentary notes.

 

“Among those who made no profession He had reason to expect nothing but coldness; among those who made a profession He had a right to expect the glow of warm affection; but He found nothing but indifference. . . anything is better than this condition, where love is professed, but where it does not exist; where vows have been assumed which are not fulfilled.”

 

Why not mix Love and Faith together for a Good Wife life? Be encouraged. If you choose to be a crown rather than a cancer in your husbands life, God will honor your efforts. Nothing gets passed His notice. He will help you by His Spirit so your marriage can FLURISH no matter how long since you said I DO.

 

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” Criss Jami, Salome’

Shine on. . .
karan k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Wife/Bad Wife? Part I

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” Criss Jami, Salome’

 

I never watched the CBS hit tv series “The Good Wife” even though it ran for seven seasons and I often considered checking into it. Julianna Margulies stars in this political drama about her decision to reenter the workforce after 13 years to provide for her children because her state attorney husband is jailed for corruption and sex scandal. Is he guilty? That’s what we all want to know?

Not sure if it’s a GOOD show to watch (only you can be the judge of that) but Margulies character supports her husband in some form or other throughout the shows run.

That being said, I want to be a Good Wife. Not like the one on the TV show but like God created me to be. To reach my potential that He set out for me to glorify His name. I want my husband to know and feel that he has that kind of “Good Wife”. In this post let’s look at the first half of an intriguing proverb:

“A worthy wife is a crown for her husband. . . .” Proverbs 12:4a New Living Translation

The word “Crown” to the Jews meant more than kingly power but also joy and gladness.
Solomon the writer of this proverb knew what a crown of joy should be. His mother gave him a crown of joy on his wedding day. (See Song Of Solomon 3:11). So he knew the blessing of  receiving a crown from a woman.

I am striving to be a crown, a joy for my husband. Striving because it is a daily effort. A choice I make over and over. I’m endeavoring to discover what I can do that brings my husband gladness.

A key moment for us is when my husband walks through the door of our home after working all day. I look forward to this moment. I try to set the tone of peace and tranquility with low music, dimmed lights and the scent of supper cooking. That’s the easy part. The tough choices come when he drags in, growling under his breath not noticing the pleasant environment I’ve created just for him.

This is when I have to choose my attitude. Will I continue to care for him unconditionally by trying to understand his mood? By giving him space if he needs it? By not pushing my agenda for the evening? And by not whining about my own unmet needs? LORD help me! I can do it only by choosing His grace!

Love for a Lifetime—Husband and wife harmony

 

Being a crown for our husband also entails being helpers or a “help mete” according to scripture. Hebrew for Help Mete— Ezer Kenegdo, a difficult term to define. It means so much more than helper. A partner, a lifesaver comes close.

What does that look like? We can be a support second only to the Holy Spirit in our husband’s life if he’s a believer. We choose to be: A companion for him in loneliness. An enthusiastic cheerleader in his triumphs. A soft voice and a soothing touch in his struggles and wise words of encouragement in his defeats. A loving nurse in his physical weakness and an eager lover in his passion.

Which of these areas are hard for you to be supportive? God’s grace is available to help you improve. All you need to do is ask.

I have to choose to respond to my husbands needs and trust my own needs to be met by Jesus. It can be challenging and sometimes I fail at one or all those things but I am determined to be a crown so I keep working at it.

Are you choosing to be a Crown or something else?

 

Next time we’ll explore the brutal second half of Proverbs 12:4

Shine on. . .

karan k

 

 

Be Prepared

 

“Being prepared has taught me to look ahead, to anticipate the unexpected, and to carefully prepare myself.” An 83 year old former boy scout.

Woman pulls up to pay her $5.35 fare with a debit card. Her account is 90 cents shy of the total. She has no cash. So I ask for her license to do an insufficient funds procedure whereby she has 10 days to pay by mail or online with an added $2 processing fee.

Not prepared?

She begins looking for her license. Meanwhile, the traffic is backing up because my coworker is on his break. She tells me she doesn’t have her license so I inform her that I must call for a trooper to ID her. She tells me she has a job interview and she’ll be late if she has to wait for a trooper. This customer was in no way prepared.

I wondered if she sensed my frustration? These type moments make me beg Jesus for more grace. I mean really. Why would anyone drive on a toll road to a job interview without money or their drivers license and expect a positive outcome? She didn’t even offer any excuses. This appeared to be her habitual modus operandi.

 

I needed grace!

In the end I don’t know if she made it to her interview on time or if she got the job, but I do know she wasted time and paid extra fees for her lack of preparation.

Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the Boy Scouts of America, devised the motto “Be Prepared” in 1907.

Baden-Powell’s idea of BE PREPARED¬†was that “Scouts should prepare themselves to become productive citizens and strong leaders and to bring joy to other people. He wanted each Scout to be ready in mind and body to meet with a strong heart whatever challenges await him.” 13th latest edition of Boy Scout Handbook

Baden-Powell further expounded:

“Be Prepared in Mind–by¬†having disciplined yourself to be obedient to every order, and also by having thought out beforehand any accident or situation that might occur, so that you know the right thing to do at the right moment, and are willing to do it.

Be Prepared in Body–by making yourself strong and active and able to do the right thing at the right moment, and do it.”

 

Sounds like a healthy and productive way to conduct ones life. I believe Scripture also encourages this way of living.

“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” Jeremiah 29:7 English Standard Version

What preparations are in your knapsack?

So, how prepared are you?

For todays situations?

For your place in eternity?

Read Matthew 25:1-13 to gain important insights on being prepared.

Shine on. . .

karan k

 

 

Technical Difficulties

How many remember this sign appearing on your TV set with a long loud annoying beep? It was to inform you that the station was experiencing technical difficulties. Never a source of joy that I remember.

Television technical difficulties sign

“. . . when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:2&3 New Living Translation

Lately my phone has not ¬†been working properly. The battery wouldn’t keep a charge so I got a new battery. However, the phone continues to malfunction. I can’t use it unless I have a strong internet signal. The only thing on the phone that seems to work right is the phone feature itself. I can still makes calls. WooHoo! But rarely do I make personal calls anymore.

How about you? Do you text or email rather than call? It’s become the norm for most of us. Who has time to sit down and talk on the phone with a friend or family member? These days I make appointments ahead of time to talk to friends or relatives on the phone. I have to intentionally block out segments of time to make this happen and sadly, it doesn’t happen very often.

Our world is changing rapidly with all the advancements in technology. Some changes and developments are fantastic but the old ways should not be discarded just because they’re old. Sometimes the old ways are best. ¬†And they’re reliable when we run into technical difficulties.

For example, when I write posts for this FLURISH blog, I use my various Bible apps to look up verses on specific topics. It gives me skads of information and saves me lots of time. I’m truly grateful for this capability. But at the moment, I don’t have access to that luxury. I’m facing technical difficulties. ¬†I have to ¬†actually open my Bible and search the scriptures by hand. I have to ¬†wait for ¬†the Holy Spirit to guide me to verses or passages I want to use. IMAGINE!

Some may think this is a pain? No way! Although seemingly inconvenient at the moment, it forces me to spend more time digging around and studying the Word of God. That my friends is a blessing of technical difficulty! In fact, I think I’ll add a new category to the FLURISH blog called “Offline Musings”—-posts written without the internet. Who knows, perhaps the Father wanted some undivided time with me— no competing with FaceBook, YouTube, ¬†Instagram or Google etc.? HE is sovereign over the internet so it is certainly possible.

Have you had any technical difficulties lately? Allow Him to turn them into a blessing.

“Restore us, O Lord, and bring us back to you again!” Lamentations 5:21 New Living Translation

Shine on. . .
karan k

The living breath of God in readable form

Practical Columbo [people pleaser finale’]

“If you live for people’s acceptance you will die from their rejection.” Lecrae

Let that sink in.

 

Columbo always made me think

Now are there any Columbo fans out there? For those unfamiliar, “Columbo ” was a successful TV crime drama that ran from 1960 to 2003. Lt. Columbo, played mostly by actor Peter Falk was noted for the phrase “Just one more thing”. So I’m sharing one more time some thoughts from my own ongoing journey to overcome people pleasing:

Listen up People Pleasers: Learn your own limitations. Each of us have different energy levels. Too much people pleasing can deplete our energy affecting our health and close relationships leading to serious breakdowns in either or both. Remember the opening quote.

“If you live for people’s acceptance you’ll die from their rejection.”

How many nonessential activities can you handle each week and remain fresh and lively? If you feel sluggish or grumpy, perhaps you need to cut back? It’s not wrong to put yourself first now and then when the motivation is to rejuvenate and stave off resentment!

 

What do your life commitments look like to those who care about you? Ask them for their honest opinion. Listen with a mind willing to make adjustments.

Another Columbo catch phrase; “There’s something that bothers me” and that is, people pleasers need practical tips to reform. So here goes:

 

Realize you always have a choice: It may not be apparent to you right away, but look for options. Don’t let fear pressure you to take the road more comfortable. That choice could lead to deeper pain later down that same road.

Columbo’s Wheels

Set your priorities ahead of time: Know what you believe and why about yourself, your capabilities and your faith. This is an area to revisit often throughout your life as you grow and change.

 

Stall for time to pray about the request: This is key. Telling the person/persons making a request of you that you need time to pray and consider their request will help you make the best decision. It gives you time alone with God and away from the pressure of answering in a weak moment.

 

“For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”
I Thessalonians 2:4 New Living Translation

“What did you pay for those shoes?” Another famous Columbo question. My answer? Doesn’t matter because I like them and they were worth the price.” Said with confidence and a wink.

Shine on. . .
karan k

“Oh, just one more thing:” Be advised that saying “No” to some people could cause unfavorable backlash. This is to be expected and all part of the process for becoming a reformed people pleaser.

 

 

The Thrill is Gone?

B.B. King and his guitar “Lucille”

 

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 New Living Translation

 

Is your thrill gone? Rainy day doldrums or ‘the blues’ hit all of us at times. You’re casually movin through your days and one morning you wake up and something just isn’t right. You can’t quite put your finger on it to identify its origin but the blues are singing their song in your ear, right there as your head lays on the pillow.

Ever feel like singin the Blues? Ever think about why Blues music started?

The name “The Blues” most likely came into vogue during the 17th Century as a shortened version of a common English expression of that time. “The Blue Devils” described dramatic hallucinations that came from alcohol withdrawal. So “The Blues” referred to a state of depression and agitation.

Deeply rooted in American history, “Blues” music originated on Southern plantations in the 19th Century. African slaves sang spiritual songs to lift their souls as they toiled in the cotton fields.

Today Blues music remains popular because it’s so relatable. I enjoy Jonny Lang’s Blues recordings because like old spirituals he sings about the One who helps him overcome “the blues”.

Jonny Lang

Blue-sy negative emotions can hit us like a freight train carrying a load of bricks at times, can’t they? They overwhelm us in seconds. I dislike feeling blah or blue whatever you want to call it, but I know these FEELINGS most of the time are not true of my reality. The good news is, I don’t have to give in to them. And neither do you.

We do have the power to choose which emotions we will entertain and how we will respond to them. Even during rainy, cloudy days, PMS, menopause or any other hormonal switch flipper! Don’t believe the lies that you have to surrender to negative emotions.

If you’re a Christian and have a case of the non-clinical blues, I got some ideas for you:

Try a chat with your heavenly Father— He says, “Come let us reason together. . . though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow. . . ” Isaiah 1:18 English Standard Version
Sometimes we need to pour out our hearts to our loving Lord. In doing so we may find something lurking that needs confessing and could be the source or our sorrow?

Try praising our great God inspite of your feelings. Sing a little song about His goodness to chase away your blues. Do you know this little chorus? “God is SO good, He’s SO good to me.” (See Psalm 13:5+6)
“The LORD is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all His creation.” Psalm 145:9 New Living Translation

Skip away the blues

Try skipping with Jesus, if you are nimble enough. How can you remain sad when you are physically skipping with the Lord of the universe? Allow yourself to laugh and enjoy HIs presence.

 

Emotions are a gift our Creator wanted us to have because HE has them. God loves to see us delighting in everyday life. He longs to restore our “thrill”. He knows because of the Fall we live in an imperfect world involving times of pain and sadness. He invites us to come to Him to receive healing and joy. Don’t let anything hold you back from Him!

Allow Him to help you FLURISH again.

Shine on. . .
karan k