Desirable Part II
Continuing with the thought of becoming DESIRABLE, perhaps I should clarify the definition I am using. Desirable as in attractive. In Part I the focus was on physical desirability and hey, I was only 13 so “LOOKIN GOOD” was paramount in my teenage mind. Nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive or desirable in a physical way. In fact it’s a good thing to want to be clean, neat and modest, altho it took me awhile to perfect those three items. However, physical attractiveness is not the ONLY thing where desirability is concerned. And it is NOT the most important thing.
This truth occurred to me when I turned twenty (7 years into my quest and not coincidentally God’s number of completeness). I wanted to be desired but not just for how I looked, altho I wanted to maintain that as well. Physical beauty is somewhat shallow. . . “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30 New Living translation
I wanted to be more attractive on the inside because looks alone do not a relationship make and I unfortunately discovered that truth by the popular trial and error method. I had grown weary of the games and the pain that accompany immature “love” . I wanted deep, lasting relationships. So I did some soul searching with a trusted friend who I knew loved me and had my best interest at heart.
During my search I saw something rather ugly clinging to the walls of my heart. It was so dark that I could barely see it hiding in the shadows. My friend identified it as self righteousness and it certainly wasn’t attractive or desirable. It was mean spirited and judgmental. And it had to go!
How could this ugly thing grow and live in my heart so comfortably all these years? I didn’t think twice about looking down on girls who “got in trouble” and had to quit school or have a thrown together wedding. I figured they must have been easy, sleazy or both. And what about my peers who were strung out on drugs and alcohol? They were simply low-lifes I supposed.
You see, attending church all my life, I was taught there were certain things I shouldn’t do if I wanted God’s love and my parent’s approval. Things that only ‘bad’ kids did. So I promised GOD I would not partake in these things and I kept my promise. Maybe you can relate?
When my friend told me I was SELF-RIGHTEOUS, I was offended. It sounded so heinous and indeed it was. I had to take a good long look at my motives. Why did I look down on these people? Was it because I wanted to believe I was better than they were? Did I think I was closer to GOD? Yes, I was guilty of both. Guilty of judging people. Even if I never voiced this out loud, it was an attitude of my heart. And it was extremely ugly and extremely wrong. A huge blot hiding any attractiveness I may have had now forcing me to make a decision.
Would I pretend I didn’t see the ugliness or would I deal with it? Easy just to turn a blind eye. Easy just to let it lurk once again in the shadows of my heart. But I was exposed as a self righteous believer in Christ and I had to take action for HIS sake and to be able to fully love others.
I agreed with HIS truth. Nothing I did made me more loved, saved or better. It was all HIS grace, which is free to anyone who receives it ; Ephesians 2:8 & 9 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, it is the gift of God—- not by works, so that no one can boast.” New International version
I asked HIS forgiveness.
I asked for His help to truly love as HE loves.
And then I began LISTENING with my ears and my heart to the stories of people I once judged. Seeing into their lives HE began to help me understand people, and the reasons for some of their dilemmas. His compassion began to flow through my heart to genuinely care for them. And so I became more desirable. . . and I FLURISHED. By HIS grace, and so can you! Seek to become more desirable inside and out. . . it’s a lifelong process but the results are GORGEOUS!
I Peter 3:3 & 4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” New International version